The Tales of the Goblin City

Now that I’m in Azeroth, I keep hearing about a goblin city way down south of Stormwind. The druids visiting the city talked about taking a boat to a place called Ratchet, so they could get to the Wailing Caverns. Something about the caverns and this dream thing they do. Nobody would tell me more. So I packed my bag, checked out of the inn in the Dwarven District, and left.

Stormwind is so big. I said so out loud at the gate and a guard laughed at me. (I was holding the map upside down.) South and east, then a boat, then the Wailing Caverns. That was the plan. I walked out the gates with a small caravan and followed the path to Goldshire.

Then it rained. A lot. So I ducked into the Lion’s Pride Inn and stayed the night. It was packed. Music, dancing, people singing way too loud. It was a good inn. It was a really good inn. I didn’t mind the rain after that.

Day two was Redridge. Lakeshire is a nice town, but everybody looks tired. They look at you like they’re counting heads. I bought bread and kept going. By afternoon the road turned south into Duskwood.

I do wonder why there's a lot of crates on the road between Lakeshire and Duskwood.... 

I don’t like Duskwood. It’s dark, and it stays dark. The trees get close and the road gets small. Then the wolves start. You can’t see them. You just hear them walking next to you. Then the spiders showed up. Big ones. Bigger than a dog, and I’m being nice about it. I got to Darkshire and there was one lit window. Best window I’ve ever seen. I slept in my boots.

Day three, the trees opened up and everything was green. Stranglethorn. Hot, wet and loud. Tigers (I stayed on the road), gorillas that just stared at me, and monkeys that throw stuff. They have really good aim. There were raptors too. I didn’t know raptors were a thing. Now I do, and I wish I didn’t.

How does the weather change so much?!

And then Booty Bay! Goblins built a whole city on the water, and it smells like fish and money. I paid a guy for directions. They were wrong. So I paid for a second set... (Yeah. I know.)

But, then the pirates. Bloodsail Buccaneers. Red sails, bad attitudes, and every one of them had a bird on his shoulder. Gorgeous birds. Red, blue, gold. I was staring at one when its owner pulled a sword. A goblin guard grabbed my coat and yanked me behind a crate. The bird said a word I’m not going to write down. We ran.

I made it.